In a shocking revelation that left cybercriminals around the world puzzled, cybersecurity has once again proven to be a major obstacle in their nefarious deeds. Just as hackers thought they had mastered the dark arts of digital trickery, cybersecurity experts have upped the ante by actually doing their jobs.

This week, reports have surfaced of hackers accidentally stumbling into honeypots, those cleverly disguised traps that look like tempting targets. ‘It was like realizing that the cookie jar was filled with broccoli,’ lamented one anonymous hacker. The strategic deployment of decoy systems with irresistible allure is apparently not a fan favorite in the criminal hacking community.

Meanwhile, hackers have expressed deep frustration with cybersecurity professionals for continuing to patch software vulnerabilities. ‘Can’t they just take a vacation and let us work in peace?’ whined another disgruntled cybercriminal while hastily deleting their browsing history. In other news, attackers have filed a formal complaint against cloud service providers for continually insisting on encrypting data, calling it ‘a direct attack on our livelihood.’

As cybersecurity efforts continue to thwart the most creative of cyber heists, industry experts predict hackers will be left trying out a novel strategy: finding real jobs. Stay tuned as we monitor this developing story and await the next wave of satirical developments.