In the latest attempt to tackle the age-old problem of browsers doing what they were designed for, a revolutionary browser called ‘Adapt’ declares that less is more. Boasting a sleek interface with the functionality of a 2003 flip phone, Adapt cuts through your digital clutter like a hot knife through butter, or perhaps more aptly, like a spoon through soup.

Adapt’s developers proudly state that they’ve stripped away all the distracting features that made modern browsers usable, leaving you with an experience reminiscent of being stuck in a vacuum of irrelevance. Forget about those tabs you love to hoard—Adapt won’t even entertain your multitasking delusions!

Sure, you could go with browsers that optimize performance and productivity by intelligently managing background processes. But why opt for progress, when you can embrace Adapt and reminisce about the halcyon days when the internet was just an AOL screech away from crashing your computer?