In a groundbreaking revelation, Security Operations Centers (SOCs) worldwide have triumphantly declared that integrating AI into their workflows isn’t akin to summoning a magical cybersecurity fairy godmother. Instead, it’s more like adopting a particularly obstinate pet rock, one that promises grandeur but mostly just serves as an impressive paperweight during meetings.

Despite early hopes that AI would be the digital equivalent of duct tape for broken processes, many SOCs report they’re still struggling to wrangle this techno-beast into anything more than a sophisticated guessing game. It turns out that shouting ‘AI!’ at a problem does not, in fact, make it disappear any more effectively than yelling ‘abracadabra.’ Who knew?

As some teams valiantly attempt to apply machine learning to everything from phishing scams to coffee shortages, others have opted for a more strategic approach: waiting for AI to develop sentience and integrate itself. Meanwhile, human practitioners are left juggling an array of AI tools with all the grace of a cat herder in a tornado. Innovative!