In a thrilling twist of fate, web developers who have long sought tighter integrations between their front and backend can now achieve that dream in the most unexpected ways. Thanks to React2shell, your once-safe components bring entire new levels of intimacy with hackers, because nothing says ‘next-gen web’ like uninvited Russian bots animatedly breaking into your server room.

Experts, who previously believed that ‘maximum security’ was a pseudonym for ‘we have more locks than you have keys,’ are now forced to reconsider as the CVSS score hits a perfect 10.0. Never before has a vulnerability been so committed to excellence that it decided to max out the scoring system, proving once and for all that anything React can do, insecurity can do better.

The React Server Components team has responded to this crisis with the groundbreaking advice of ‘patch your systems’, marking a revolutionary step in cybersecurity strategy that involves actually updating your code. Meanwhile, the good folks at Next.js are contemplating rebranding their framework to ‘Next.js: Now With Extra Holes for Convenience’. As the wave of panic spreads, developers everywhere are reminded of the most important rule: Always trust user input, especially if it’s from strangers on the internet.