In an unprecedented move, China-linked APT31 hackers have thrown digital caution to the wind, deciding that the best way to stay under the radar is to simply not be on it at all. By utilizing cloud services, the hackers discovered the ultimate cloak of invisibility, proving that the best way to disappear is to hide in a rainstorm of servers.

“We thought about using VPNs, proxies, and even old-school trench coats and sunglasses,” said an APT31 member in a fictional interview, “but nothing quite screams ‘you can’t see me’ like a cumulus cloud of AWS instances.”

Amidst the sophistication of their attacks, the Russian IT sector reportedly spent billions on cybersecurity solutions, only to realize that fighting clouds with firewalls is like bringing a sword to a fog fight. Now, Russian IT firms are left wondering if they should hire meteorologists instead of cybersecurity experts.

While the rest of the world is left scratching their heads, wondering when hackers started being inspired by meteorological phenomena, APT31 is already working on their next strategy. Rumor has it, they’re considering using the power of thunderstorms for their sequel operation: ‘Thunderstruck 2.0’.