In the most audacious move since the invention of the banana peeler for peeling bananas, a new Chrome extension, ‘Safery: Ethereum Wallet’, has achieved the impossible: stealing Ethereum wallet seed phrases while promising unparalleled security. This avant-garde approach to digital theft is being hailed by cybercriminals everywhere as the future of efficient asset redistribution.

‘Why settle for traditional security when you can have exaggerated insecurity with a hint of deception?’ asks the unnamed developer of Safery, who may or may not be one of Batman’s top nemeses. The extension, which masquerades as a legitimate Ethereum wallet, adds a playful twist to blockchain technology by sending your precious seed phrases on a one-way trip via the Sui blockchain—the blockchain of choice for 4 out of 5 clueless thieves.

As conscious cryptocurrency users frantically search for ‘Safery’ on the Chrome Web Store, they are being advised to also look out for other cutting-edge apps such as ‘WalletLess’, ‘SeedSnatch’, and ‘CryptoCaper’, all promising to revolutionize the world of digital currency by creatively loosening the tight grip on your finances. After all, why save money when you can donate it to unseen benefactors?