In a groundbreaking case of ‘didn’t you get the memo?’, Chinese cyber actors have decided to treat Microsoft’s July 2025 patch for the ToolShell vulnerability like the fine print on a warranty card. The result? A whirlwind tour of breaches that reads more like a bizarre global itinerary.

Apparently, the hackers missed the public service announcement where Microsoft explained that the July patch wasn’t just some casual suggestion, but a real, honest-to-goodness solution to keep cyber miscreants at bay. Their oversight has led them to perform a synchronized digital dance over a telecommunications company in the Middle East, making AT&T’s service disruptions look like child’s play.

The hackers’ choice of targets is as eclectic as their choice of methods, perhaps signaling a new trend in international cyber tourism. From crashing government parties in Africa and South America to auditing the email habits of a U.S. university professor, they’ve embraced a global strategy of disorder with all the zeal of tech-savvy travel bloggers. Who knew that a patched-up flaw could still be so accommodating?