In a groundbreaking display of digital mischief, the notorious Salt Typhoon gang has successfully hacked into a European telecom network using a combination of the Snappybee malware and what can only be described as the ‘Feature-Not-a-Bug’ flaw in Citrix’s NetScaler Gateway appliances. When asked for comment, a Citrix spokesperson expressed gratitude to Salt Typhoon for their unintended QA testing.

The attack, predictably initiated during the first week of July, was yet another testament to cybercriminals’ punctuality and dedication. Their skills in coordination and pen testing could probably outshine most IT departments, said a security analyst who wished to remain anonymous due to fear of being updated to Windows 11 involuntarily.

Experts are now recommending that companies invest in not just antivirus software, but also in sending regular thank-you notes to hackers for exposing security holes faster than internal audits ever could. Meanwhile, Salt Typhoon has reportedly upgraded their LinkedIn statuses to ‘Unpaid Security Professional.’