In a groundbreaking revelation, it turns out two seemingly innocuous research firms are channeling their inner James Bond, minus the suave accents and endorsement deals. Investigators have uncovered what can only be described as the most intense game of ‘Hide and Seek’ ever, where the Beijing Institute of Electronics Technology and Application (BIETA) and the China Institute of International Intelligence (CIII) have been outed as the Ministry of State Security’s (MSS) best-kept secret. Clearly, if you’re going to emulate a secret agency, why not go all out and pretend to be an academy for electronics?

The report shines a flashlight on BIETA’s employees, who seem to have taken multitasking to a new level—being both researchers and unofficial MSS agents. Who knew working for a research institute could also come with a side hustle in international espionage? It seems the BIETA team had a crash course in 007-style finesse, confirming that the real secret to intelligence isn’t gadgets, but the art of appearing genuinely mundane.

Meanwhile, the University of International Relations couldn’t be prouder of their alumni, proving that their degree in ‘Networking and Relations’ extends far beyond LinkedIn connections. When it comes to intelligence gathering, their graduates are proving that it’s not just who you know, but who else they know that really counts. Clearly, in this digital age, the saying stands true: never underestimate the power of a well-placed alumni network.