In an audacious new trend, companies are now embracing the art of staying hush-hush post-breach. Why scream about a data breach when you can just elegantly sweep it under the digital rug? The cybersecurity world is abuzz with this groundbreaking redefinition of ‘transparency.’

Meanwhile, attack surfaces are expanding faster than CEOs’ LinkedIn profiles, providing hackers with more delightful complexities to navigate than a reality show dating pool. And who needs to shrink those attack vectors when it can all be chalked up to ‘necessary market expansion’?

Adding to this spectacle, artificial intelligence is here to ‘help’ with its uncanny knack for misinterpretation. While AI keeps tripping over its own circuits in understanding cyber threats, it’s reassuring to know that it can still craft a decent cat video.

As the gap between leadership and frontline security stretches to Olympic high-jump levels, the only thing rising faster than AI misperceptions are enterprise expectations. The 2025 Cybersecurity Assessment Report has spoken, and apparently, silence is the golden policy of the digital age.