In a groundbreaking ceremony of oversight, Wiz Research experts heroically leapt into action this January, unveiling a gaping chasm in DeepSeek’s cybersecurity defenses that could only be described as the digital equivalent of a revolving door. While DeepSeek was busy perfecting chatbot algorithms to predict tomorrow’s trending cat memes, their ClickHouse database was left wide open, inadvertently running an ‘all you can access’ buffet of sensitive log streams.

It’s a rare moment of pride for Wiz Research, who, for once, didn’t have to wait around for the inevitable pyrotechnics of a public disaster. ‘It’s like spotting a crack in the Hoover Dam before the flood,’ remarked one researcher, who wished to remain anonymous to continue their secret life as a white-hat superhero. ‘What’s next, catching hackers before they’ve had their morning coffee?’

DeepSeek, famously tight-lipped and equally open-electroniced, responded with the traditional corporate tango: a mix of opaque apologies and assurances about ‘strengthening future protocols.’ As of press time, they’ve neither confirmed nor denied sending a fruit basket to Wiz Research.