In a stunning move that has surely sent shockwaves through the covert world of espionage, Amazon, your friendly neighborhood online shopping behemoth, has thwarted an intricate Russian plot to gain access to exclusive Prime deals and maybe even your Alexa shopping list. In this daring rescue, Amazon proved it’s not just about two-day shipping anymore; they’ve added saving democracy to their cart.

The sophisticated hackers, known as APT29 or as their friends might call them, ‘Really Persistent Hackers Club,’ had launched an elaborate campaign through compromised websites, believing the best way to gather intelligence in this digital age was obviously through Microsoft’s device code authentication. Their endgame? Trick people into authorizing devices for digital window shopping, or perhaps something a tad more nefarious like accessing your carefully curated ‘Watch Later’ list on Prime Video.

While APT29 had dreams of grand espionage dancing in their heads, they hadn’t counted on Amazon’s crack cybersecurity team who, armed with nothing but unlimited coffee and an ironclad employee discount, effectively nipped their scheme in the bud. One can only imagine the hackers’ disappointment when they realized their access was as fake as an online product review.