In a shocking turn of events, researchers have uncovered that Docker Hub is the new hip place to find not just trending software images but also the hottest backdoors on the internet. Yes, forget rare collectibles; this season’s must-have item is the XZ Utils backdoor! Now in dozens of images for maximum collectability!

According to cybersecurity firm Binarly Research, the XZ Utils backdoor is making waves, cleverly disguised within the heart of Docker images like a Trojan horse with a side gig as a viral TikTok star. These infected images are like the gift that keeps on giving—and multiplying—as developers unknowingly build upon them, spreading the love (and the malware) faster than an internet meme.

Industry experts warn that the continued propagation of this disguised menace could lead to an existential crisis for software developers everywhere. The ultimate question arises: Is there a secret word we can whisper to make it stop, or do we all just collectively agree to never use Docker again?