In a move reminiscent of the buddy cop movies we never asked for, cybercrime legends ShinyHunters and Scattered Spider have decided to pool their questionable talents together. Forming what can only be described as the Silicon Valley’s most unwanted software duo, they’re turning extortion into an art form. If only they’d take a holiday from their newfound BFF status, the tech world could breathe a little easier.

The pair, famous for their fondness for flip-flopping between stealing credentials and peddling them like overpriced NFTs, are now eyeing Salesforce customers like a kid eyes the cookie jar. Experts suggest their next move might involve financial services and technology providers. One security analyst commented, ‘It’s like they’ve found a new home in the cloud, and they’re redecorating with ransomware.’

As the dynamic duo plot their next daring heist, businesses are left to wonder: should they brace for impact or just apply to be the next Marvel villain? Either way, it seems the digital underworld just got a new ‘it’ couple, and their love language is extortion. Will they break up as spectacularly as their attack strategies? Stay tuned, folks—it’s only a matter of time before this soap opera unfolds!