In the latest espionage twist that feels more like a budget thriller than a cyber attack, leaked credentials are moving from the shadows of the Dark Web into a well-lit marketplace of mayhem. Forget Bitcoin; your password is the new hot asset, and it’s worth its weight in… well, whatever awkward selfies or questionable Google searches it can unlock.

According to a report that may as well be written by Captain Obvious, leaked credentials now account for 22% of all cyber breaches. Who could have possibly guessed that the ingenious strategy of ‘Use Password123 for Everything’ would lead to security issues?

These breaches start not with the dramatic keystrokes of a genius hacker, but with the casual carelessness of someone who thinks ‘password’ is a secure choice. As we dive deeper into this digital jungle, don’t be surprised if your dog’s name plus your birth year is the secret to a small hacker’s fortune.