In a twist more predictable than a soap opera arc, Russian aerospace industries find themselves blindsided by a speck of digital mischief called EAGLET. Apparently, hackers, probably sporting trench coats and villainous mustaches, have swooped down like seagulls at a picnic to make off with not just crumbs but the entire loaf of top-secret information.

Enter Operation CargoTalon, a cunning escapade that sounds more like an indie film featuring poorly animated birds than a cyber espionage operation. The masterminds behind this operation, the creatively named UNG0901 (Unknown Group 901 for those not well-versed in lazy naming conventions), have taken a liking to the Voronezh Aircraft Production Association. Because, obviously, nothing shouts ‘world domination’ quite like targeting people in a sleepy Russian town.

Experts speculate whether this campaign might just be an unconventional recruitment drive for a new species of digital toddlers. After all, who wouldn’t want to employ digital birds adept at not only infiltrating servers but also sneakily building nests in the gaps of cybersecurity frameworks? Looks like Russia’s aerospace industry might need to invest in a few parental control apps.