In a plot twist that surprised no one, over 900 Sangoma FreePBX instances have been successfully compromised. Experts suggest that these web shell attacks are the cyber equivalent of leaving your front door wide open while broadcasting your vacation plans on social media. But hey, who needs security when you can have absolute chaos?

America proudly leads the charge with 401 instances hacked, proving once again their commitment to being first in everything—except cybersecurity. Brazil, Canada, Germany, and France trail behind, perhaps too busy enjoying their cultures to notice a few cyber-stragglers sneaking in.

The Shadowserver Foundation, a non-profit organization, broke the news. In unrelated news, the term ‘non-profit’ increasingly describes the financial health of businesses who thought, ‘Firewall? We hardly know her.’

Experts believe the attacks likely compromised the systems, which is about as controversial as suggesting that the Titanic had a minor buoyancy issue. Yet somehow businesses remain flabbergasted to learn that neglecting security is not a viable long-term strategy.