In a groundbreaking ‘Hey, we’re still relevant’ move, U.S. agencies have graciously reminded everyone of the existence of Iranian hackers. Their strategy seems to involve a lot of anxious nail-biting, hamster wheel-running, and fervent advising. It’s almost like someone’s worried people might actually be getting bored of seeing cat videos on the internet.

Apparently, these state-sponsored cyber specialists have now diversified their portfolio beyond oil rig sabotage to defense, OT networks, and critical infrastructure. Yes, folks, Iranian hackers have hit the big time, aiming for the Hollywood Walk of Fame of cybercrime, if only it existed. The agencies assure us that escalating activity is expected due to ‘recent events.’ Maybe the hackers simply need a hobby; who knows?

We advise everyone to keep their passwords complex, their operating systems updated, and their conspiracy theories about Iranian cyber superheroes at an all-time high. Remember, paranoia might be the only hacker-repellent left in stock. Now, if only those hackers could turn their attention to something more useful, like creating a universal pet translator…