In a stunning turn of events, Mustang Panda, a China-linked threat actor known for their groundbreaking exploits in targeting people who enjoy open handshakes, has turned their attention to doubly shocking new prey: Tibetans with internet access. Experts say this could revolutionize the field of ignoring entire cultures.

The campaign, cleverly disguised as emails with subjects no self-respecting spam filter could resist, like the 9th World Parliamentarians’ Convention on Tibet, has left many asking, ‘Do these attackers even read their own emails?’ One Mustang Panda operative was quoted as saying, ‘We had to Google who the 14th Dalai Lama was. Not a bad writer, though.’

This shocking revelation came on the heels of China’s intense focus on Tibet’s education policy. Analysts speculate the attackers may be trying to preemptively warn against any curriculum that includes basic online safety modules, which could render their phishing emails less effective than a Goop wellness tip.