In a thrilling new installment of ‘Hackers Gone Wild’, Google’s Threat Intelligence Group (GTIG) has bravely faced off against three brand new Russian malware families. These digital menaces, crafted by COLDRIVER, a hacking group with a moniker rivaling the creativity of a potato, have supposedly undergone more iterations than the latest iPhone model.

According to GTIG, COLDRIVER has been burning the midnight oil, revamping their malware at a pace that puts fast fashion factories to shame. Their newfound ‘operations tempo’ is a clear sign that these cyber adversaries have embraced the hustle culture, ensuring that no computer is left untouched by their efficiently recycled code.

As COLDRIVER continues to refine their digital mischief just days after each launch, one can only assume they’re following the ‘fail fast and fail often’ mantra. We can’t help but wonder if their next malware family will come with a complimentary pop-up ad for antivirus software, because who doesn’t love a hacker with a sense of irony?